I know what kind of person you are. You’re a true “do-it-yourselfer,” aren’t you? You like to be in control, and the way you see it — the best way to get anything done is to just do it yourself.
Why spend time bouncing your ideas off of others when you know your idea is perfect to begin with? It’s not like they have the same vision as you, so why bother throwing it around to people who have no clue what they’re talking about?
Believe me, I once thought like this too. I like to be in control of things, and do everything myself. It’s something that comes from being a web designer, and has carried through into other aspects of my life.
Photo by Mish Sukharev
The truth is, you can’t do everything yourself. Breaking this mindset is not always easy, but it’s something you’ll need to learn.
Now, there’s a big difference between “anti-social” people and “do-it-yourself” kind of people. Just because you like doing things on your own does not make you anti-social. Rather, can lead to a little stubbornness.
There’s nothing wrong with doing things for yourself and taking control of situations in your life. Hell, I’d say it’s one of the best characteristics of any successful person.
However, there’s got to be a line somewhere. When crossed, I don’t think you’ll like where you end up. It can all be avoided simply through the help of others.
Life is About the Connections You Make
Family, friends, coworkers, baristas — whoever it is are all there for you (the barista at my local Starbucks sneaks me some extras occasionally. Don’t know where I’d be without her ;-)). Don’t be afraid to go for them for something. That’s generally why they’re in your life to begin with.
So when you do come up with a great idea, or need help at work, or ever feel overwhelemed — ask for some help. Don’t be shy or nervous to do so either. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, and you don’t look weak for needing to do so.
I think the biggest reason I never wanted the help from others is because I was a little afraid to. I didn’t know what to expect, or if anyone would want to help me.
It’s not that I didn’t have any friends. Or that I was a total “do-it-yourselfer.” It was because I didn’t know how to ask.
These are the things I wish I knew before, on how to ask people for help:
- Ask the right people: Simply put, if you need help with an Advanced Calculus assigment — don’t ask a gym teacher (unless they were once a rocket scientist or something).
- Don’t be afraid of rejection: No one likes getting shot down. But think about it, what’s the worst thing that can happen when you ask someone for help? They say “no?” Big deal.
- Know what you want: Unless you’re brainstorming, don’t talk to people about something unless you know exactly what you’re talking about. This goes back to “owning the situation,” and people will be more inclined to help a confident, knowledgable person.
- Help others: Like you, others want help too! By helping other people, you are building reputation and trust, so when the time comes for when you need something — people will be more inclined to help.
But listen: it’s not that you should go to people only when you need something. That’s selfish.
You should go to people because you want to. You want to talk to them, and you just want to stimulate a great conversation and be around people you like.
Once you understand that life isn’t one giant “work-a-thon,” you’ll understand what life is really about. Maybe you’ll make a few friends along the way, too.
The Utter Importance of Masterminding
There is synergy of energy, commitment, and excitement that participants bring to a Mastermind Group. The beauty of Mastermind Groups is that participants raise the bar by challenging each other to create and implement goals, brainstorm ideas, and support each other with total honesty, respect and compassion. Mastermind participants act as catalysts for growth, devil’s advocates and supportive colleagues. — Karyn Greenstreet
Ever hear of one of these?
Masterminding is a great way to collaborate with others and get feedback on whatever is on your mind. It can really put some of your thoughts into perspective, and see what others think. It’s also a great way to break that “I need to do everything” mindset.
I’m in a Mastermind group myself, and have gotten a ton of value out of it. I’ve only been in two sessions (our group is new), but have really learned a lot and am always excited to go to the next session.
I encourage you to go out and talk to a few people who are into similar things (but not exact) and ask them about starting a Mastermind group.
Explain the benefits, such as always having people to bounce ideas off of, people who will support you, and to really just have a good time with a bunch of great people.
If you want to start your own Mastermind group, check out some of the links below for some great tips:
- How to Create and Run a Mastermind Group
- How to Find a Mastermind Group
- Why You Need A Mastermind Group
- 7 Real-Life Tips for Creating a Successful Mastermind Group
Still Thinking of “Doing it Yourself?”
There’s no shame to doing things for yourself, but sometimes you just need to ease up and let others help out! You’ll not only be less stressed, but will start enjoying the prescense of others and building relationships. If you have any bad or good “do-it-yourself” experiences, share in the comments. Also, be sure to share your views on a Masterminding group.